So you’re missing Burning Man? Were you out in BRC last Saturday night and tonight you’re wishing you were back on the playa? Well…here’s how to recreate what you’re missing! Start the video, put on BMIR, and

Recreate & Enjoy the Burning Man experience!

1. Pay an escort of your affectional preference subset to not bathe for five days, cover themselves in glitter, dust, and sunscreen, wear a skanky neon wig, dance close naked, then say they have a lover back home at the end of the night.

2. Tear down your house. Put it in a truck. Drive 10 hours in any direction. Put the house back together. Invite everyone you meet to come over and party. When they leave, follow them back to their homes, drink all their booze, and break things.

3. Stack all your fans in one corner of the living room. Put on your most fabulous outfit. Turn the fans on full blast. Dump a vacuum cleaner bag in front of them. Dance for six hours. Sleep in your clothes

4. Buy a new set of expensive camping gear. Break it.

5. Lean back in a chair until that point where you’re just about to fall over, but you catch yourself at the last moment. Hold that position for 9 hours.

6. Only use the toilet in a house that is at least 3 blocks away. Drain all the water from the toilet. Only flush it every 3 days. Hide all the toilet paper.

7. Shop at Wal-mart, Cost-Co, and Home Depot until your car is completely packed with stuff. Tell everyone that you’re going to a “Leave-No-Trace” event. Empty your car into a dumpster.

8. Listen to music you hate for 168 hours straight, or until you think you are going to scream. Scream. Realize you’ll love the music for the rest of your life.

9. Spend 5 months planning a “theme camp” like it’s the invasion of Normandy. Spend Monday-Wednesday building the camp. Spend Thurs-Sunday nowhere near camp because you’re sick of it or can’t find it.

10. Walk around your neighborhood and knock on doors until someone offers you cocktails and dinner.

11.  Get so drunk you can’t recognize your own house. Walk slowly around the block for 5 hours.

12. Search alleys until you find a couch so unbelievably tacky and nasty filthy that a state college frat house wouldn’t want it. Take a nap on the couch and sleep like you are king of the world.

13. Have a 3 a.m. soul baring conversation with a drag nun in platforms, a crocodile and Bugs Bunny. Be unable to tell if you’re hallucinating. Lust after Bugs Bunny.

14. Sit in your car for 5 hours. Once an hour, move it forward 500 feet for five miles. Get out, roll on the ground, get back in and sit for 8 hours more moving it backward 500 feet every hour for eight miles. Remember that this “one hour neighborhood” is part of the “experience.”

For the complete list, go here. Note I did not write the original but I did adapt this from an email I received in 2003.

Okay, maybe those suggestions are a bit extreme. However consider these from the Burner Out Of Water Project from a few years ago and which I’ve adapted a bit http://burneroutofwater.weebly.com:

• Don your finest (but legal) playa wear.
• Strike up deep conversations with strangers.
• Ride your (decorated) bike or walk everywhere.
• Don’t watch any TV.
• Keep your phone on airplane mode.
• Make your car an art car.
• Spin poi or do yoga in the park.
• Dance all night.
• Dance during the day.
• Enjoy a sunrise with your friends.
• Holler with joy when the sun sets.
• Burn something.
• Give gifts.
• Take lots of pictures.

And definitely watch the hour long video above recorded by Larry Nimmer at the Burning Man Festival 8/30/14. The camera was on the roof of the Big TV Set, opposite the Burn, so that everybody gathered could either watch it live or on TV. The actual burning of the Man starts at 3:10.

You might also check out what’s going on with your Burning Man regional. These three major and official decompression events are scheduled for the following weekends: San Diego Oct 17-19, LA Nov 7-9, SF Sun Oct 12. We’ve started a Facebook group for the CA Central Coast; we may for an official regional or just have some meet-ups as a way to create community. You can join the facebook group or subscribe here and find out about events.