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moms at the stoplight: a haiku kinda thing

May 14, 2008

white crowned sparrow mom

eats, eyes me with suspicion

I don’t want your bugs!

check out other contributions to the prompt of “mom” at readwritepoem

conventional poetry/ /conceptual poetry

May 13, 2008

will you be there?

on being a mom…a poem

May 12, 2008

Mother’s Day changed for me when I became a mom…my poetry did too. The previous post is in response to readwritepoem‘s prompt to write about your mom; I wrote it before I had a child.

So I wanted to also post a poem this Mother’s Day about being a mom, and from many, I chose this one written as part of the 3:15 experiment which asks participants to post their poems as written at 3:15am, and it was published in the anothology between sleeps.

It’s also another one of my poem’s with a train in it (the inspiration of living close to the tracks!) so it’s especially apropos good for the poetry train too…

This is dedicated to all those breast-feeding moms…

it is quiet now after the train goes past
shaking the house rocking the baby back to sleep
it is quiet now except the steady buzz
of the air cleaners and the occasional truck
on the freeway

it is quiet now he is not snoring the
baby is not crying the cat is not
yearning to join us inside
the cat has been locked out of our
room allowed only to brave through the cat door into limbo
he brings us too many treasures
half dead half alive voles rats
gophers at night birds during the day
he brought down a seagull once
left it on the deck outside the bedroom

the little birds i try to salvage
pry the teeth off the hummingbird
place it shocked but alive in a box with a towel on
the stove check for rustlings i
am tempted to keep it what’s more
exotic than la chuparosa bird of
love in my bedroom? but i always
open the box let the hummingbirds fly off
even the one with only one leg
he was
loose in the high ceilinged bedroom
i opened all the windows
scavenged for red clothes, red hats, sweatshirts
hummingbirds are attracted to red pink magenta
suspect they’ll find nectar there
but this one he keeps banging his head
on the ceiling balding the feathers drift down
with a broom i finally guide him out

this year the little mockingbird tempts me
his feathers haven’t grown in quite yet
he has fledged left the nest
the electrician wants to know this and that
and careful i say there’s a baby bird there by your foot
don’t step on him

i have had luck with birds before
taking my shirt off placing it on the bird
in the dark the bird is calm and can be
moved but i resist revealing my breasts bare and engorged
with milk i know the bird will be
stepped on and i do pick him up in my hands

i already have one baby in the house
he is 8 months old and sleeping
i cannot keep this baby this bird and
the world has so many mockingbirds
already but
was this one born of the parents
i watched mating between the roses?
was this one from the nest in
the jasmine by the hot tub?

the electrician is asking me questions and i
am consumed by the bird knowing that
to put him down even with the
parent screeching nearby is to invite death
he is soft in my hands the bird
so fragile i hold him gentle and he jumps
lands by the electrician’s foot
i can’t leave him there and resume talking
the milk says i must return to my own child
the bird goes on the ground under the
sycamore
later with my baby in my arms i find his stubby feathers
i want to tell the mama i tried but how would she ever understand

i hold my little redhead close
stay with me my son
don’t ever leave my breast

3:15am poem for my mother’s birthday

May 12, 2008

This poem was written as part of the 3:15 experiment, where you wake at 3:15am and write, then publish it as written (“the raw stuff, baby” as Danika Dinsmore puts it) at the 3:15Experiment.com

I am posting it today since it is Mother’s Day. For other’s on this theme, go to readwritepoem or take a ride on the poetry train.

on sunday my mom turns 65
30 years ago she stopped
celebrating birthdays
at 35 she said age didn’t matter
she was 35 she was over 35
she didn’t celebrate birthdays

maybe she didn’t but we did
simple affairs
my brother shows up on her birthday
my sister and i will take her
to lunch one day after aerobics
slipping on summer dresses
over damp and sticky bodies
sometimes my grandma joins us
after salads we get two desserts
they send over a creme brule with a candle

you’d never guess Read more…

Buffalo Kachina

May 11, 2008

In December, I found myself buying a Kachina at an auction (if you’ve ever been to an auction, you know they can be like that…after the sale you discover you bought all kinds of unusual and surprising items you never knew you needed!)

I was in the back of the room and could barely see it, hadn’t noticed it in the preview, hadn’t been looking for one, but found myself bidding on him and and that evening taking him home and discovering how special he is.

I thought for some reason he was an Ogre Kachina, and I thought I can use an ogre around here, keep everyone in line. Carved likely from cottonwood, on a round wooden base, he dances. He is covered in rabbit fur, with a leather neck piece and apron with a shell, a rattle in one hand, a feather in another, round yellow eyes, a jutting red jaw, curved horns. When his mask is removed, you can see the man underneath. He is beautiful and soft yet strong. I am in love with him.

I know that you are supposed to feed a Kachina cornmeal, and it is time to do that I know, but he has been a special sacred object: I have been burning incense–pinyon for purification and now Tibetan peace insense on a small carved soapstone leaf on his base, and watching the smoke curl up and swirl around him, I know he is happy.

The other night, I decided it was time to learn more about him, about this Ogre Kachina, so I nosed around on the internet, searching for info on Ogre Kachinas, and came up short. This didn’t seem like my kachina. I finished burning some insence and took the Kachina off the mantel where he stands in front of a mirror so we can see both sides. Lo and behold, underneath him the artist has signed his name (can’t make it out) and wrote “Buffalo.”

Here is a little about what I have found out:

Buffalo – Most powerful kachina. Kills evil thoughts and is a spiritual protector.

  • Buffalo Warrior – Assures there will be adequate food for winter.

www.taostrading.com

Buffalo Kachina dolls are the most powerful of all the Kachinas. He is believed to be a spiritual protector and to have the ability to kill evil thoughts. He is usually seen wearing a buffalo fur hood with horns, that reveals a man’s face. The fur hood trails all the way down his back. Buffalo Kachina also typically carries a rattle when he is dancing and a spear and shield when he is hunting or at war.

Here is more information on Kachina Dolls
He has been the perfect kachina for me, for us, during this challenging time. I have felt his protection over these months.

I know already there is more to this story, to my story with this Kachina. I look forward to finding out more and sharing it here.

down on the farm: burning man 2008 theme

May 6, 2008

uh…the American Dream? who thunk that one up? I second the nomination for “Down on the Farm”

http://youtube.com/watch?v=lr0-XeaHFd8

impressions from the shadowside–a poem

May 5, 2008

impressions from the shadowside

what is it
which connects us
to a place and time
except our decision
to be here and now?

traveling alone at night
on a remote mountain road
i wind through trees
swim in oceans of stars
one place and time just like another

what keeps me from being some place else
some one else, some time else?
what keeps us in one place, one body
knowing what or where is now?
if i choose to

couldn’t i slip
from here to there
and back again?
come to recognize
that i’m not

who or what or where or when i was?
or not knowing
and just be that? there? then?
for one moment
i could be

that man that tree that flower
that lizard that landscape that granite
not just imagining
but being it–
for that matter

for one moment
i could entirely be
some place else some time else
and not even know it
for that matter

for one moment or for all
i could be that or this–
or that and this
i might already know
what is that lives in our shadows

(Note: I wrote this poem several years ago when I was invited to be the “featured artist” for a science fiction writers conference on the Queen Mary. This poem was published in the conference program, I had a poetry reading and reception as part of the conference, and I had a room to hang my artwork, mostly body paintings and broadsides. “Impressions from the Shadowside” was also the title of a solo show I had that summer; Yves Klein did “blue”– I did green and other colors. This broadside was published in ArtLife Limited Editions 8/97.

check out other responses to the readwrite poem prompt “out of this world” or take a ride on the poetry train

public heart health message: pick up the phone!

May 3, 2008
Jeff Burroughs is the second Jeff I know who has died in the last few months of a heart attack; Jeff San Marchi died at Christmas (how i became the art predator part 2)–he was in his 50s. Last year my friend barely 40 friend’s heart gave us all a good scare. A few years ago, a 43 year old doctor friend would have died from a heart attack except his wife and mother who were both physicians were there to take care of him and a hospital was close.

Do you hear the phone ringing? Hello?

What age is your heart? Be honest and ask yourself the following questions:

do you have high cholesterol?
what you eat can add 5-10 years to your heart’s age

do you have excess belly fat?
extra weight there adds 5-10 years

do you smoke?
smoking is one of the biggest risk factors and adds 20 years to your age

do you drink alcohol?
drinking a glass or two of red wine a day can be good, but more than that is a poison to your body and can add 10-20 years to your hearts age
are you happy? are you stressed?
stress damages the heart too and adds 15-20 years to your age

Jeff, I know you’re laughing hysterically somewhere about all this–when you weren’t drinking, you were smoking–and when you weren’t smoking, you were drinking–or planning on it! The last time I saw you I think was when you advised me on which one of the Wild Planet flasks would be best for me!! I mean, my goodness, 3 bars in town are donating food and booze to your memorial!!

I guess I’ll keep wine in that flask instead of whiskey…try to laugh more, stress less
deep breath…
here’s the link for the video about the heart stuff:
http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/up/player/popup/?cl=7635953
Thanks Toni for the photos of Jeff and friends out at Burning Man 2006 celebrating best friend Pixie’s wedding to Peter…

Jeff Burroughs aka Thing aka Adam Bramlett aka Liar

May 2, 2008
Last week, Jason sent me this email with the subject header,
“Thing was delicious

Delicious

sailing salutation corvette driven
champagne gutter punk
divine delicious memories

goddamnit motherfucker

you know how people are always curious about how people will react when they die?
I hope this is one of those pranks.”

I didn’t know what to think of it. The link didn’t make sense; was he saying Thing (aka Jeff??) was ??? no…
I wasn’t too sure what to make of this. Joke or? I didn’t think it was funny either way or maybe I just didn’t get the joke. Then we went to Wild Planet and Peter told us and Christy did too that Thing was dead. They were still pretty upset and shocked, and I guess I was too because when we went to leave, I told the Big Monkey, oh we didn’t say bye to Jeff, Christy where’s Jeff? and she said, you mean Thing– didn’t I tell you about Thing?

That’s when it actually sank in. Up to that point it was more abstract, I guess I was still processing that it wasn’t a joke. But then when I went looking for him, for the Jeff I’d known and joked around with since 7th grade…and couldn’t find him–that’s when it sunk in. I didn’t get to say goodbye to Jeff.

I guess none of us did.

Just a few days after his 46 birthday, my friend and fellow Burner Jeff Burroughs died of a massive heart attack. Here one day, cracking jokes, making everyone laugh at themselves and each other, gone the next. I went to the memorial at his parents’ house (the one Jeff grew up in) yesterday. I saw Kari and Tammi who I knew since we were all about 10; they’d been in kindergarten with Jeff– Tami grew up across the street from him, and Kari around the block.
So much that I’d like to say about Jeff is about myself–the challenges of fitting in to the world when you’re different. My choice was finally to “opt in” by joining student government and the newspaper and essentially running the school. Jeff’s way was to “opt out” through drugs. Years later when I came back to town, finding some places to be comfortable on the fringes here at Art City and downtown, I fell into a conversation with a fellow burner and local. He introduced himself as Adam Bramlette, a trust-funded porn star from Palm Springs, and I gave my ex’s last name as mine. But we realized we knew each other as other people…we bonded over those memories of people and places, and the pain of not quite fitting in. We admitted to each other our former names, our former lives which we wanted to escape. We rejoiced that we had found communities where we had friends, where we were comfortable, where we laughed and had fun. About a year ago I was able to introduce him to my nephew who is the son of a friend of his from kindergarten on
Tonight I will attend the big party at John and Dee’s barn by the beach to celebrate his life, and his presence in our lives; I will bring a bottle of an Australian granche “Bitch” that I got at the Grateful Palate warehouse sale which is really wonderful, just like Jeff. I love/d how who did and acted more or less how he wanted, and demanded what he wanted–and he got it. In the words of his friend and neighbor– Read more…

Art Predator performs poetry on Blog Talk Radio

April 30, 2008

On Monday night, nila northSun interviewed me and I read poetry on Blog Talk Radio. If you want to check it out here’s the link:

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/onword/2008/04/29/Talking-The-Line-hosted-by-Nila-Northsun

It was a lot a fun; nila and I have been friends for 10 years and the interview sounds like two good friends shooting the breeze, talking about poetry, writing, sharing stories, and poems. You will learn more than you probably wanted to know about the Art Predator in the process! it runs about an hour.

In the interview, I read several of the poems I have posted on this blog including:

granite lover

spring poem

desert dances

celebrate

In 2000, I convinced nila to go to Burning Man and I think she’s been every year since (I skipped 03, 04, 06). We’re looking for a jpg of us and I hope to post it soon (if the new dashboard at wordpress allows…still having problems…me and a number of other people–at least I’m not alone!)

Thanks, Rafael Alvarado, for inviting us on!

art predator

art predator )'( seek to engage the whole soul

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