Four Sonnets for Brian Barker: 1961-2008
Here is a sonnet for Brian Barker.
Brian sat behind me in school to look
over my shoulder and get the answers.
He always managed to be in my group.
That was okay. He was nice, and funny.
He wasn’t stupid. He just didn’t care
about Spanish or Math or English. He
reminded me not to take everything
so seriously, it didn’t really
matter, even though I thought it did. He
was popular; I ran the school paper.
He called me Mrs. Presidente. When
we were juniors, a girl died in a car
crash. He was in the car. He found her body.
I was supposed to write about it but couldn’t.
Here is a found sonnet for Brian.
Brian Kent Turecek Barker, longtime
Santa Barbara resident, passed away
November 26, 2008.
The fourth child of Eldon and Lucy Barker,
Brian was born on December 5, 1961.
He grew up in Ventura, California,
graduating in 1980 from
Ventura High. A talented artist
at an early age, he studied art at
UCSB, graduating in 1987.
He worked as a draftsman with architects
and engineers. Brian was a kind,
generous, and loving man with a keen
intellect. Passionate about his
creative endeavors, he shared his art
with friends and family. He had a unique
sense of humor, a warm smile, an easy laugh.
Here is another sonnet for Brian.
Brian is the father of my nephew.
Was. Is. Not. Brian fathered my nephew.
That’s not it. Brian and my sister made
a baby. She kept the baby. He went
to college. She dropped out. She married Dave.
Brian discovered heroin. He fell
in love. Loving heroin made it hard
to love anyone or anything else.
There is more to it of course but the fact
of the matter is for Thanksgiving this
year, a week before his birthday, Brian
………………………………………overdosed
…………………………………………and died.
Here is a final sonnet for Brian.
When I tell them about Brian, people
ask me if it was suicide, do I
think it was suicide. The question shocks
me. I say no, he OD’d, and lacking
a note, how could anyone ever know.
What I do know is, when I saw him last
September, he had been sober since May
of the previous year. We made plans to
have dinner, maybe with my nephew next
time he came home. I asked him what he was
up to, what he was doing. He told me
his job was to stay sober. Sometimes all
we can ask of a person is to be
in this world as long as he or she can.
They say it is a selfish act, to commit suicide, to choose death over life, to choose drugs over sobriety, to leave, to abandon loved ones. Last week, on the last day of fall, a room full of people gathered to celebrate Brian’s life: his creativity, his passion–a room full of people who will miss him. His friends, his sister, my sister, his brother, his nephews told stories about good times, about sneaking on to the golf course to play, about going to an art museum together. What makes me saddest is that while we all knew him, some better than others, my nephew never got to know his father. Fortunately, Brian’s friends and family are embracing my nephew and filling him with the stories and love they had for his dad.
One last story: when we were on a trip to the LA County Museum of Art and hung up in traffic, Brian said, “Theoretically, you never have to brake on a freeway.” Every time I stop, I remember you, Brian, I smile, and sometimes I laugh.
Poet Nanao Sakaki: 1923-2008–Congratulations, Nanao!
In the morning
After taking cold shower
—–what a mistake—–
I look at the mirror.
There, a funny guy,
Grey hair, white beard, wrinkled skin,
—–what a pity—–
Poor, dirty, old man!
He is not me, absolutely not.
Land and life
Fishing in the ocean
Sleeping in the desert with stars
Building a shelter in the mountains
Farming the ancient way
Singing with coyotes
Singing against nuclear war–
I’ll never be tired of life.
Now I’m seventeen years old,
Very charming young man.
I sit down quietly in lotus position,
Meditating, meditating for nothing.
Suddenly a voice comes to me:
“To stay young,
To save the world,
Break the mirror.”
I love this poem, “Break the Mirror” by Nanao Sakaki, from his book of the same name published in 1996 and translated by his frien
d Gary Snyder. This poem inspires me every time I read it, moves me so much I put it on the syllabus of the classes I teach, as much to inspire me daily as for my students. We even read it aloud the first day of class.
I remember hearing Nanao read at the Taos Poetry Circus. Read more…
Eartha Kitt: no longer of this earth
Here’s the new York Times obituary about the legendary singer Eartha Kitt. She died today, Chirstmas Day, at 81 years old of colon cancer.
When I told my father in law tonight, as he and the Big Monkey sat at the table visiting, he said he was sitting in a cafe having breakfast after a late night on the town in New York City in 1946 and she came in with her husband, one of the Nicholas brothers. “They were good dancers, the Nicholas Brothers,” he said, “and they sat down next to me.”
“She really was like a kitten, purring all the time. She was real pretty,” he said. “She could sing but not great.”
I disagree. I think her voice gorgeously expressive, as exhibited in the clip above.
Here’s a brief interview with her from 1955:
The Santa Baby video here is one of my favorites. Here’s another favorite, a variation of the 1920’s song I grew up singing on our player piano, “The Sheik of Araby” with Nat King Cole”:
And “My Heart Belongs to Daddy” is too wonderful not to be included here:
What’s your favorite memory of this versatile performer? As catwoman? Which song?
NIMBY: Burning Man Art & Images
Put your hands together…that’s how we bring change to our planet–whether it be to make events like Burning Man or the Obama administration!
More images here: Into the Dust BM 08 slideshow http://www.flickr.com/photos/ryanicus/sets/72157607095402092/show/
and BURNING MAN 2008 GALLERY FROM PHOTOJOURNALIST NICK ADAMS
Click on “Burning Man 2008”
Think some of the large scale art projects you’ve seen here and linked to and other places on this blog– including the links at the end of this post–are cool and should be supported? While funding them is always a challenge you can easily imagine, have
you ever thought about WHERE you might build something like these projects? Not In My Backyard, right? Who would want a neighbor welding, banging, and clanging after work? Even if the end result is this imaginative and beautiful?
Lo and behold, there is a space in the Bay Area: NIMBY, the largest DIY (that’s Do It Yourself, yo) industrial art space in the Bay Area, and they’ve been forced to
move to a new location, and have been turning to the community to help
with their daunting security deposit. They’ve raised most of the
money already through some serious fundraising efforts, but they need
$8,500 before Monday so they can move in.
So why should you care, even if you live in Topeka, Toledo, Toronto or
Torino? Because a metric buttload of Burning Man artists call NIMBY
their studio, where they create and store incredible large-scale art
installations for the playa. It’s also used as Read more…
Art Predator wishes YOU a Merry Christmas!
Happy Holidays! Merry Christmas!
Here on the West Coast, it is Christmas midafternoon. The howling wind makes the air fill with chimes like church, and the sky is spitting all over the laundry I hung to dry in the day’s earlier sunshine.
Our sink is spitting also. Black, sulpherous smelling muck is coming out of the kitchen sink as well as the bathroom one on the other side of the wall. Ugh. We’re combating the stench with beeswax candles, bacon, and incense of frankinscence and myhrr.
We made breakfast of eggs, bacon, and biscuits, and unless we want to go wash them in the bathtub, the dishes will wait piled up on the sink until we snake the sink or call the plumber.
We were planning on heading to the Grand Canyon to experience winter at that spectacular spot. We were even going to stay in the historic El Tovar and dine there as well.
But too much winter between here and there–the weather predictions Read more…
winter solstice activities
In previous years, I have honored the winter solstice in various ways: gatherings with friends, hikes up to Two Trees to watch the sunset, walks or bike rides along the beach, a pubic performance of a solstice ritual and poetry reading (I put up a post with the winter solstice ritual here last year).
On the day of the winter solstice this year, we celebrated by organizing a bike riding Santacon which concluded with a fire burning late into the night at the Artbarn (see photos Read more…
Pictures of Santa: Ventura Santacon 08
Santacon 08: Art Predator & Friends Dancing at the Watermark
Ventucky Santacon 08: Sunset at the Watermark
Art Predator, Toni & Malice at the Riviera Bistro
Ventucky Santacon 08: Caroling outside the Artists Union
Ventucky Santacon 2008: it’s a RIDE not a RACE!
Other than the fact that people tended to race off on their bikes instead of riding together, Ventucky Santacon 2008 was a success!
We raised money for three local non-profit arts groups (the Artists Union, Art City, and the Artbarn), we raised awareness about how fun cycling can be and for the VCCOOL Bike Pod, and we had a great time riding Critical Mass style down Main Street, eating at Riviera Bistro, caroling around town, and dancing to a blues band at the Watermark as we watched the sunset over the Pacific Ocean!
Pictures and video to follow soon; this image is from nila and Santa Pirate Kilbuck from the Santacon in Reno where over a thousand Santas converged; over 500 gathered at the Reno arch for a photo opportunity!
More fun rides are in the works including rides on the first Friday of each month. Check back here for more info!
3:15 Experiment Poem: August 28, 2005–the early morning shift
3:15am Sunday August 28, 2005
moon is out again tonight
late riser on the early morning shift
train’s whistle harmonizes
with the moonlight
rumble of the tracks
bleeds into the roar of a plane
plane melts into
car tires on the freeway
quiet again place
until train whistles
it’s the engineer actually
someone else awake working this night
trains go by often
without signifying
how is it or why that
these engineers decide whether
to let loose the whistle
is it the moon
the engineer the time?
what do they know
that I don’t?
Ride the Poetry Train! Check out Read Write Poem! Read more 315 experiment poems!
Santacon 12/21 TODAY: Last Minute Santa Suit Tips
CALLING ALL SANTAS! Santacon Ventucky is TODAY!!
Remember: If you wanna roll with Santa, ya gotta dress like Santa!
A bunch of us made our Santa suits last night using red sweatshirts or sweaters we found at thrift stores for $2 or $3 and from clothes we found in our closets.
We found some ugly faux fur at Joanne’s Fabrics and beautiful faux fur at Fabrictown USA (they open at 11am on Sundays). We cut strips out of the fabric (and wow, watched the fur fly!) and using a glue gun, we attached the faux fur in the appropriate places. Voila! We had 5 Santa suits! We put them on and walked through the neighborhood caroling and stopping to sing at a house wh
ere we knew they were having a party.
We also bought “batting” which is a cheap woven white substance which we will cut into beards and pin to our Santa hats.
Black gloves, black boots, and a black belt complete the outfit.
The thrift stores also had millions of Santa mugs–remember to bring your own so we’re not using a disposables everywhere we go!
For the route, see the previous post.
