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POEM: mountain twilight breath

July 14, 2008

breathe in joy

days light creeps up
White Mountains to sky pink clouds

saved breath of earth
crosses the belly of the valley
rushes up sage
wrestles with cottonwoods
redwings robins ride to roost

creek roars past
3 pillars of an old house rise

breathe out peace

I wrote this poem for last week’s readwritepoem prompt while camping at Keough Hot Springs at about 4500′ on the slope of the Sierra while gazing at the White Mountains where we’d camped the previous nights (see posts below for details on bristlecones, camping, and wine!)

16 Comments leave one →
  1. polkadotwitch permalink
    July 15, 2008 12:21 am

    i like giving light the ability to creep, not in the sense we usually think, but in the sense of being on a hike, on an adventure. this is full of delicious words and rich images!

  2. July 15, 2008 12:41 am

    I can see the beauty of the view in your poem!

  3. July 15, 2008 9:19 am

    And here’s me saying, camping, what for? Haha, know I understand. A very beautiful great breath meditation poem.

  4. July 15, 2008 9:41 am

    A most visual poem. You take us there.

  5. nathan1313 permalink
    July 15, 2008 1:16 pm

    Great movement in this poem, a real sense of the living landscape.

  6. July 15, 2008 1:32 pm

    ‘saved breath of earth
    crosses the belly of the valley’

    How beautiful. Your camping trip sounds lovely. I like those ‘3 pillars of an old house’, too.

  7. July 15, 2008 6:25 pm

    sounds like a beautiful place

  8. July 15, 2008 6:55 pm

    thanks everyone for your comments! i lok forward to getting around to se your posts/poems soon! 9right now my son is climbing on me..)

    no camping for you, Paul?? maybe these posts will inspire you. afterall, fire is an integral part of most people’s camping experience!

    it was much more beautiful, breathtaking, breathgiving… than i can convey though i try!

    julia, the belly of the valley at first was me misreading my notes–then i realized i liked it that way! the valley is very much the belly between 2 mtn ranges…

  9. July 15, 2008 11:45 pm

    I like the breath element of this poem. You breathe in Joy, all the different things rustle up and you breathe out Peace. clever stuff!

  10. July 18, 2008 10:20 am

    this is incredibly moving. i not only feel I am there with you experiencing that moment of joy and peace but i suddenly feel connected to the breath of the valley I live in.

    thanx for visiting.

  11. Jim permalink
    February 13, 2009 2:12 am

    But such a place that you describe in your poem does exist. I imaged it just a few days ago at sunset. People have sent me emails asking me if this image was heaven and I reply no———its the Owens Valley.

    Winter Twilight,  Owens Valley

  12. February 13, 2009 2:49 am

    yes Jim, heaven sure does exist! I’ve loved the Owen’s Valley for years…

    Thanks for sharing the link to your photo–it’s gorgeous!

  13. tothewire permalink
    February 13, 2009 2:07 pm

    Lovely poem! As I visualize, such peace overcomes me.

  14. February 16, 2009 12:47 am

    enjoyed the poem! great pick tothewire!

  15. Tim permalink
    November 20, 2009 5:48 am

    Very sensual & beautiful.


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