Every breath, each breath of your life, is a precious jewel: Laurie Anne Lawrence Ludwig– sister, mother, daughter, grandmother, artist, teacher

breath breathe

Ganesh visits earth when there’s an eclipse like we had Tuesday night with the full harvest moon. He comes to take away our fear, to remove any obstacles, to show us the light. On that night, artist, teacher, fitness trainer  Laurie Anne Lawrence Ludwig went to the light taken by cancer. Brilliant, she touched many lives, and she will be missed. My sister had a heart of gold and she saw the best in everyone.

—Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture

I love) I shan’t have lied. It’s evident

the art of losing’s not too hard to master

though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.

Garibaldi juvenile tile by Laurie Ludwig

My sister was a talented artist in many mediums, and she made these small 4 x 4 tiles of garibaldi juvenile and adult. These are early tile mosaics she did for me about 15 years ago. Our grandfather Manny Paquette was one of the very first deep sea divers and an expert on fish. He loved garibaldis which are our state fish. I’m grateful to have them. When I leave this house they will go with me.

Garibaldi adult tile by Laurie Ludwig

My sister was always a talented artist, but she always wanted to be a mom, and she loved babies. When we were little, the plan was she’d take care of the babies and then I’d take care of the children. She had her first child right after she turned 20, and had two more sons in her twenties– all birthed at home naturally.

When I had my son at 41,  she guided me through the process, and I went to the same midwife. The night in November I went into labor there was a huge thunder and lightning storm. My husband was sleeping solidly, and I figured it was his last night of good sound sleep for a while, so I called Laurie to help me. She was awake with her youngest and her dog, both scared by the loud booms and bright flashes of light. She lived across town so we were watching the same storm outside together marveling while my body cracked open to give birth to my son. At dawn, she arrived at my house for the birth, along with my mother, the midwife, and her assistant. It was hard for my husband to see me in so much pain, but the women knew– they’d experienced it themselves. The only place I could get comfortable to labor was between my sister’s legs: she literally held me up while I went through three hours of transition to deliver a sunny side up healthy baby boy. For the next 20 years, she was there for my son in a very special way, helping me with child care, and then being there for him when my husband broke his neck, and when my mom died soon after. 

We should all be so fortunate to have a Laurie in our lives. 

Laurie Anne

This weekend is also the memorial art show for my artist friend Patrick G. Duffy; read what I wrote about him here.  

I’d planned on going to Sacramento, but our special place was at Burning Man, and I spent time in the Temple this year at Burning Man reflecting on his life and our time together. With my sister’s death so recent, I don’t know if I’ll have it in me to go, although the added benefit was a plan to see my son in Tahoe. 

memorial show for Patrick Gavin Duffy